EYORA-- What I want


	WHAT I WANT I want to live. Breath. Be happy. Altough these are the same desires of my youth, I have changed. I now know that I can have what I want. And I can want anything. Deciding what I want, even letting myself want something wasn't easy. Imagine, would you, that the hardest obstacle of my life was admitting fully one truth to myself. Many desires blooming inside this vessel were not planted by me. Discovering this, I kept desiring. I was supposed to. In youth I had been a walking sponge. Everything I saw or heard I believed. I bet you can guess how I acted when faced with something different. O boy. Montana was different. I became an anti-sponge. I let in what went with my line of being. My very essence depended on it. Take a guess how highschool was for me. O boy. My marriage to a Montanan? Yeah. I fought my man tooth and nail in the beginning. "You kno-ow, if you put the ice in first and then the water, it will get cold as it runs over the ice." Shmack!! He could just make me so mad (And this was just ice!). Why? I told myself it was him. He had an attitude. Nope. I just didn't like different. Oh but you know that I was from New York and I was open minded. Every one else out here was just nuts. Uh-huh. After eight years of living in the midwest, five of those around my man, I realized that I gave in. Little by little. I no longer even thought the same. This was bad. Wasn't it? I went to my husband and asked his opinion. We may not agree and I don't try to force him to do things my way any more. He didn't do that to me, he only suggested things. Why did I misunderstand? I am the one with the attitude. next home * just ask * what i want * truth * ten ways * contact